Lady Gaga and Other Drunken Mishaps
by la troubadour de la nuit
Summary: Tony Stark decides to carry out his ploy to 'get into Steve's pants'. So, what does he do? Invites the new recruit for a few drinks to discuss important business dealing with SHIELD.


Reviews are amazing references. I would greatly appreciate critiques : )

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><p><span>Lady Gaga and other Drunken Mishaps<span>

Ah, now. What day was it? Truthfully, it didn't matter. Any night was a good night to go out and have a drink or two and it just so happened Tony was on a hunt. He knew exactly where he wanted to go and, surprisingly, he knew who he wanted. No, there wasn't going to be a contest to see who was prettier or who would be more willing to give him what he wanted. No. This time, Tony Stark knew what he wanted and, by god, he was going to get it one way or another.

It just so happened that his method of choice tonight was to get the unsuspecting Steve Rogers drunk to the point where everything would be smooth sailing once they left the bar.

How did this come about? Well, it wasn't expected, that's for sure. Tony would pass the man on the street every once in a great while. Then it turned out Steve was brought into SHIELD. Being a new member, he didn't have many friends which made Tony's job even easier. It was simple: Tony told Steve to meet him at the bar so they could discuss the unspoken rules of SHIELD, like how to stay away from Tony when he was messing with technology and how to avoid angering any of the other members. All Tony had to do was buy Steve drinks and distract him from the original purpose of the meeting until Steve was drunk enough to, well… That will come later. Right now, his main goal was to get to the bar and start buying drinks.

It was a little past seven when Tony walked through the doors and found Steve sitting at the bar. He could recognize the gorgeous blond hair from a mile away, literally. He had machines that could do that. Everyone else would use binoculars, but 'Tony Stark' wasn't 'everyone else'. Tony straightened and put on his 'I'm the boss and I know it' smirk as he casually made his way to the bar. Sitting beside Steve, Tony waved his hand at the bartender without saying a word. Then again, he didn't need to. He visited this bar often and always ordered the same thing. Two glasses were set in front of the men and Tony automatically took his in hand and drank, turning on the stool to face Steve as he rested his drinking arm on the smooth wood surface.  
>"I'm glad you could make it. I was planning to be on time, but I had an important call." Lying. It was second nature to Tony. There wasn't a phone call. There was a 'which suit do I wear' situation, but no phone call.<p>

"It's fine," Steve responded as he lifted the drink, taking in a more than generous mouthful of the scotch. Tony arched a brow and eyed his drink. He took a sip, expecting Steve to do the same. Quickly, he down his drink and set the glass down. He motioned for more drinks.

"What did you want to discuss?" Steve turned to face Tony and Tony almost fell back. Those wonderful blue eyes met his and he immediately lost himself in the gaze… also losing track of the conversation. Tony shook his head and cleared his throat. "What were you saying?"  
>Steve arched a brow. He did say, did he not…? He repeated himself. "You wanted to talk to me about my behavior around others at SHIELD?"<p>

Tony nodded, thought _what did he say _and _I definitely want to discuss you against 'members',_ and KEPT nodding. However, he noticed this and stopped when he realized he probably wasn't making a good impression. He looked down at the glasses – which he swears he WASN'T eyeing Roger's body when he did this - and noticed Steve's glass was empty again, which told Tony that he needed to, once again, quickly finish his.

This is how the night went. Tony kept ordering drinks and he soon found it difficult to keep up with Steve. What the hell was Steve, the master of alcohol? It was safe to say the night NOT going according to plan since Tony… What was Tony doing…?

Oh, that's right.

…

Tony woke and immediately shut his eyes tighter. What happened…? Ah, that. Right….

He lazily raised his arm and rubbed at his forehead.

"You know, we never did discuss what to do and not do around others. However, I think you gave the example of what NOT to do."

That voice. Steve? What was Steve doing here? Tony thought. Was he even in his room? He cautiously opened his eyes, the blinding light only adding to the hangover. He slowly rose into a seated position, leaning his body against the polished headboard of the bed. His eyes widened. Steve was sitting on the corner of the bed. He was wet. Steve had nothing but a towel on his person! Tony was intrigued and definitely willing to pay attention.

Just to point out, Tony figured out he was in Steve's room. Even though it wasn't as technologically advanced as Tony's room, Tony liked it. It was simple, homey. The lack of technology did give away the fact that it wasn't Tony's room. However, that's not the important thing. Tony cringed internally as the question he was about to ask.

"Do I want to know what happened last night?"

Steve shook his head, rising from the bed as he grabbed another towel and threw it over his head. With hair sufficiently dried, he hung the towel on the bathroom door and moved back to the bed. "It's safe to say that things were said that should've stayed to yourself."

At that, Tony made a visible cringe and pinched at the space between his eyes. "Dear god… That bad?"

Steve nodded and shrugged. "I'm not a fan of the music produced now but if you like to sing songs by Lady Gaga, whoever that is, and dance in the shower so Britney Spears…" Steve shrugged again. "I'm not one to judge. Then again, you did attempt to show me how well you can dance."

Tony interrupted. "I don't think I want to know-"

"You rose from your seat and fell flat on your face." Steve continued. Tony groaned and sunk back to a laying position. The night couldn't possibly have gotten any worse than-

"I had to call a cab. When I asked you where you lived, you answered 'anywhere you want me to, baby'. So, that was when I decided to just take you back to my apartment. We had an interesting talk on the way. Well… You were talking."

_Never mind_, Tony thought, _it got worse_. Tony knew that whenever he was drunk enough to forget the previous night, something bad always happened. This time, that 'something bad' was his nonstop blabbering. He sighed and hit his head against the bed a few times; forgetting Steve was in the room with a now confused look on his face. "You don't need to say more."

"We got out of the cab and by that time you were completely out of it. I practically had to carry you up the stairs as you hummed show tunes with a bottle of alcohol you managed to bring out of the bar with you." As Steve spoke, he slowly moved closer to Tony and since Tony didn't know this, everything was okay.

"Then you mentioned something about me being the love of your life. You also revealed your 'top secret plot to get into Steve Roger's pants." To this, Tony only hit his head harder against the bed. _Did the talking ever end_, he thought.

"That was very interesting, by the way. However, I noticed something was happening when you kept ordering drinks." Steve gave a slight smirk and moved closer to Tony as he spoke. "So, I played along to see how long it would take you to get drunk. I was surprised you were able to drink as much as you did." With this he stopped speaking and started humming. Tony had to arch a brow at this before he tried to suffocate himself. "I did NOT sing that!" He said, muffled by the pillows he now pressed to his face.

Steve laughed and sang out loud now, knowing full well that Tony's face was hopelessly red. "I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the right approach or ride that makes guys like me wanna hop in and roll." Steve chuckled and shook his head. "I'm sure you replaced the word 'girl' with 'guys'." Steve couldn't help but shake his head again as Tony sighed and rose from underneath the pillow. However, he was taken off guard by how close Steve was to him. Steve was _extremely_ close. Those eyes seemed to shine brighter and they were even more spectacular this close. There was no thinking to it. Smooth sailing as Tony grabbed Steve's shoulders and placed his lips delicately but firmly against the blonde's.

There wasn't a contest to see who was prettier or who would be more willing to give him what he wanted.

_I'm Tony Stark and, one way or another, I always get what I want. _


End file.
